It has been a while I haven’t written any English essays or discussed anything in English. Sometimes, I forgot how to express myself in the language (in both verbal and written way) that I have been learning from the young age as the words keep being on the tip of my tongue. It seems that the so-called neuron connections in the English area is fading away in my head. That is the very reason why I decided to write something in English to strengthen those connection and to remind me of my love for this language.
When would you stop learning English?
On graduating from university, I used to think my English level is sufficient for my life, hence, there was no need to improve it any more as I had studied English for so many years. Only much later did I realize that my thought was so mistaken. As long as my language skill is not as good as a native speaker, there is still space for my improvement.
Even though I was once an English-majored student at high school and even taught IELTS, there are painful weakness I have accepted:
- I still come across new words when reading English books
- I lost myself when listening to English videos without transcription
- My pronunciation is imperfect
- I’m not good at organizing ideas when speaking, leading to misunderstanding in daily or professional conversation
- I struggle to find the suitable words when writing something
- and so on
How shameful may I feel about myself after so many years of learning a single foreign language!
Honestly, I used to let this feeling become a barrier on the way to master this skill (and maybe other skills) because I was always scared of being judged as an unintelligent person. I, therefore, have long tried to mask my unknown areas instead of asking questions, and I would rather keep being silently panic rather than be seen less competent. It took me realizing that I had plateaued to finally let go fear of not knowing everything, and it was such a relief.
Remembering my young age when I was in a small classroom with other friends at the same age, I was first introduced to the concept that the more you learn, the more you realize how ignorant you are. At that time, I could only understand its literal meaning, and barely grasp the deeper significance. In the fall 4 years ago, I was again in a classroom which was thousands of miles far from my hometown, sitting among other people at different ages and from various countries. I thought my English was good enough to get by; if no, I wouldn’t have been accepted by this university. Looking up to a non-native English professor, who had long established many English publications and was explaining things in English in a very calm manner. That was the very first time I realized what “fluency” truly means and that I had been like a frog sitting at the bottom of a well. My mind had been limited by language tests as I had always studied to take IELTS test, not to truly use English. Consequently, an ambition to hone my language arose inside my heart, and my journey to know this language continued once again.
Learning (not only English) is a life-long journey
15 years since the first time I was taught the first English word, I started to learn this language from the very basic thing such as IPA or normal words used in the daily life.
- How to pronounce “work” and “walk” differently?
- How to chit and chat with other friends in English?
- How to express myself clearly?
Before, I always pushed myself to know the so-called C1 or C2 vocabularies to write a perfect English essay. However, language is more than that, it is used to free your imagination, to materialize your thought and to express yourself in a countless way. A language is not, and cannot be limited in a test or an exam because it reflects life.
I started to use English in my daily life, reading specialized books, watching tutor videos to understand more about my field, and so on. It is pity that I don’t have as many opportunities to speak or writing as before when I was still in Belgium. Therefore, I have decided to make this blog as a place for me to use English more, and I will continue to do this as long as I can still remind myself of broadening my horizons. As a saying goes, “Study, study, and study again”, this journey may last forever.
Moonie
